OLD POST: High Rise Mornings (5/24/08)

After a year of living in my flat in Makati, I've only recently unlocked the door leading onto the balcony. For quite a while, it was an unused space, the dust of the city clinging tightly to the legs of the glass table. When my family bought the unit, we imagined being able to enjoy conversations with each other while drinking a glass of soda or wine, looking out onto the sparkling lights of streetlamps and car headlights. We put out pots of plants, watering it faithfully for a few days before hospital schedules caused it to be neglected. I live in Makati to work, after all.

Internship has ended and my friends and I are free from being at the mercy of the alarm clock and the cellphone. And yet, I find myself in Makati again. Yes, to work---on my stack of reviewers and medical books, that, when placed end to end, would probably span the width of the country club pool. Ayayay! And it is precisely for this reason that I dared to venture onto the balcony. I thought it would be a fabulous place to study. And I was right. But it turned out to be more than that.

Eight years ago, in my college dorm, my room was on the side of the building facing the hills of Antipolo. Every morning, I would get up early, take a hot shower and quietly maneuver my chair past my sleeping roommates and sit on the balcony. There is nothing better than seeing the sun rise over the hills and hear the birds happily chirp to greet the coming day. Nowadays, my view from my Makati balcony is drastically different. Across from me is WalterMart, the Skyway, Pasay Road and another highrise condominium with balconies. Instead of the sun, I see the shadows that it casts. Instead of the chirping of birds, I hear the whir of my neighbor's airconditioning unit.

However, in these few moments of quiet out on the balcony (during college or in Makati), my relationship with God blossoms. Every morning, with my Bible, my strength is renewed, my spirits are lifted and my character is shaped by His hands. When I think of the things I have to accomplish for the day, He gives me a reason to rejoice and He unburdens my heart. When I start to become fearful for my future, He brings me a peace that surpasses my understanding. When I cry out to Him in frustration, He reminds me that I am made to be a conquerer in Christ. When I start to crack under the pressure, He gives me the grace to press back. When I ask what will happen tomorrow, He tells me that all things work together for good to those who love Him. When doubt and impatience begin to take over, He reminds me that though it tarries, it will surely come. And when I come to Him shameful and sorry for the sins I've committed to grieve His Spirit, He sees me through the eyes of grace and washes me clean.

For all these things, the balcony has become my special place. It is where I can lift my head, lift my hands, lift my spirit, lift my heart and lift my life to God.