It's been a while since I've felt this excited again after reading my bible. Truly, when the Lord reveals something to you, you will never look at things in your life the same way again. I've been dealing with doubts, fears and anxieties these past months and no matter how I try to cover them up with activities, like studying, work and, quite ironically, even church, these have continued to attack my mind until it seeped into my heart and threatened to steal my peace and joy. There has been no true release from them. Until now.
This morning, God spoke sovereignly to my heart and quieted the storm that has been brewing in me. With one verse, He lifted away the veil that has been covering the eyes of my faith. In one moment, there was a double portion of peace and joy that was brought into my life. In a blink of an eye, my focus changed and the enemy has been defeated. In that one second, that seemed, to me, like an eternity of waiting, I see again, all the more glaringly, that God is the same yesterday, today and forever. Through every season of my life, He is good. In every circumstance, He loves us just the same. I know that I know that I know that my life is found in Him.
God is bigger than anything we will ever face. I asked for His forgiveness that I let go of my faith and exalted my problems rather than Him. Friends, He IS BIG ENOUGH. It started when just an inch of a doubt about certain things I've been believing for in my life crossed my mind. I believed I could carry that load because, hey! I'm a strong Christian, God gave me authority, etcetera. This is just a small problem. I can deal with it. Pride entered. And then things spiraled out of control. Let me tell you, you lose everything in the end when you believe you can do anything apart from God. I've since repented and have received the benefits of God's forgiveness of my sin. Praise Him for what I've been learning about righteousness (NLSM night school rocks!)! Because of Jesus, I am in right-standing with God and all my sins, including this one, have already been paid for on the cross. Because of Jesus, sin will never change who we are in Him.
In Hebrews 10, it says that "As a priest, Christ made a single sacrifice for sins, and that was it! Then He sat down right beside God and waited for His enemies to cave in. IT WAS A PERFECT SACRIFICE BY A PERFECT PERSON TO PERFECT SOME VERY IMPERFECT PEOPLE." (The Message) Haha! Isn't that great?!
Nothing can ever be more important than having a relationship with Jesus. Nothing. Not even being in church. Believe it or not, during those months, I was in church. Regularly. More than regularly. While the word being preached was life-giving, only God can breathe His life into it and inscribe it in my heart. Only He can make things come alive in your life to bring change and freedom. Where would we be without Jesus?
Our issues are never too trivial for Him. He doesn't want you carrying your own load, even if you think you're strong enough to carry them. He will always be stronger. He's been doing big things since the world began. The stories are all in the bible. The stories are in the lives of people around you. Believe that you're not just a spectator--God wants to do big things in your life as well! Sometimes we don't understand or don't want to believe that He is big enough. But it doesn't matter because it doesn't change who Jesus is. He is big enough!!
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