I stepped onto American soil this week, arriving in San Francisco and spending a couple of days with my relatives. With only 5 hours of total sleep (blame it on the jet lag), I flew across the country to Hartford, my new home away from home.
While this will be the start of a new chapter in my medical education, this, more realistically, is the start of getting used to the American way of life. I am both excited and scared about what awaits me here. Right now, the overwhelming task for me to settle in encompasses a number of responsibilities, including opening a bank account, getting a car, deciding on a cellphone plan, buying furniture & things for the apartment. These thoughts swirled so fast in my head that I couldn't keep up. Before I knew it, I felt a compulsion to get everything done tomorrow.
Like most things in life, I know it will take some time to get everything running smoothly. Praise God for His provision and His grace and wisdom that will lead the way into this new system and lifestyle. Even though I know that all will be well, my heart needed to be comforted and held in God's embrace. I used my fried-out body clock to spend the early morning hours with Jesus.
While reading Psalm 34 in the Message, tears welled up in my eyes as I relished the peace and goodness of God.
Verse 2 says, ...if things aren't going well, hear this and be happy." What a joy to start my first weekend in the USA with a glad and joyful heart!
Verse 4 says, "God met me more than halfway, He freed me from my anxious fears." When I look back upon 2009 and see how far He has taken me, I cannot help but marvel and worship at the feet of my God, who compassionately continues to give me the best. My efforts and my work, while not totally disregarded, were elevated to new heights because of His supernatural working in my life. He took what I had sowed and multiplied it back to me a hundred-fold. He has certainly "met me more than halfway" and ensured that these blessings will last.
Verse 5 says, "...never hide your feelings from Him." Telling myself that all will be well and that He is taking care of me was not enough to stop the worries swirling around in me. God gave us emotions and understands this as part of who we are. I poured out my fears and anxieties to Him and shed the tears that was caused by the wave of homesickness and unfamiliarity of this new land that I am in. He let me lay back against Him and regain my bearings before smoothing my ruffled feathers and giving me a comfort that surpasses all understanding. Sometimes, there is a delay in getting what we know in our heads of God's truth down to the innermost parts of our heart. But God is merciful to take us into His arms and hold us close until His promises penetrate every portion of our being and we know that we know that we know that He is in control.
Verse 7 says, "God's angel sets up a circle of protection around us while we pray." God delights in genuine prayers, no matter how they sound to yourself or to others. He looks at the posture of our hearts, not our backs, as we pray. This brings revelation, grace, peace and, as David says, protection. His promises are protected in order to get to you intact and whole. His supplies are protected in order to get it to you so that you will not lack. His revelation is protected in order to get it to you vibrant and fresh so that your visions will never lack luster. We are surrounded by His hedge of protection so that we our lives will be preserved. Praying has never looked so good to me!
Verse 9 says, "Worship God if you want the best; worship opens doors to all His goodness." Sometimes, when I don't know what to pray about or when I don't know how to pray for something going on in my life, the easiest thing for me to do is worship God. In the wee small hours of the morning, in the midst of the chaos in my head, I just worshipped Him. I lifted my arms up and started praising His name. I instantly felt better. I'm not kidding. He calmed the storm brewing in my thoughts and averted the certain disaster, by the mere mention of His name. There is power in the name of Jesus! And then, when I read this verse, my heart just leaped out of my chest in excitement--I have just opened door to all His goodness!! And I knew then that the bank, the car, the furniture, my medical residency will all be taken care of by His goodness.
Verse 19 brought me to my knees. It says, "Disciples so often get into trouble; still God is there every time." [italics mine] Living in this world is not easy and it is not any less challenging for the Christian but God promises that He is right smack in the middle every time. There is a great comfort in knowing that we are never left alone with our problems. The NASB says that ..."the Lord delivers him out of them all." There is not a sticky situation that does not have the protection of God stamped on it. We are sealed by the Holy Spirit (Eph. 4:30) and there is no quandary that can rock us out of it. He is not the author of trouble but He uses each to glorify Himself. In her song, "Beauty for Ashes", Crystal Lewis sings, "He gives beauty for ashes, strength for fear, gladness for mourning, peace for despair." True enough, this promise is followed up in verse 20 that says, "He's your bodyguard, shielding every bone; not even a finger gets broken." Wow!
When it comes down to it, God remains sovereign and above our lives. I don't know what I will do without Him. I believe that, in my next entry, I will be writing of how His goodness continues to be multiplied to me as I settle into my new home. Keep you posted!
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